Mulder's Pet 'Pede II
by Adrienne
Summary: ‘Pede falls into the clutches of Diana Fowley and Mulder and Scully must rescue it.


Title: Mulder's Pet Pede II: Evil Doth the Pede  
Author: Adrienne  
Date: 7/10/99  
Rated: R  
Keywords: MSR, Humor  
Summary: Pede falls into the clutches of Diana Fowley and Mulder and Scully must rescue it before its too late.

Dedicated to the AFML, my inspiration, and to all the people who kick my ass to get writing more fic.

Feedback welcome. [davephile@yahoo.com][1]

My website: [The SMUTfic General Store][2]

* * *

**Chapter I: Awakening**

Scully opened her eyes to the dim rays of early morning sunlight slicing through the Venetian blinds. She sighed softly, laying on her side, and watched the dust float through the air.

It wasn't long until she felt something warm and hard against the small of her back. She gasped softly, feeling it slide against her, throbbing slightly. Running a hand down her side, she reached around and grabbed it, feeling it pulsate in her hand as she stroked it. Mulder was still sleeping, but obviously something of his had other ideas. She could feel it trembling under her palm as she squeezed gently, her fingers circling around it, wandering over its length.

"Good morning, pede," she whispered.

"Mmmmmmm" she heard Mulder moan, as she stroked it more. "What are you doing, sweetie."

"Oh, nothing," Scully replied, squeezing a little harder. Mulder sighed softly and moved closer to her, pressing his upper body against her back. 

"Woahohhhhh, pede!" he sighed, feeling it between them. It was lodged against Scully's lower back. What a naughty centipede. He guessed that it couldn't help its overwhelming desire to be around Scully; it was in its nature. "This pede is getting so hard to control these days."

"It's because you're always around me, Mulder," Scully answered, lightly tracing her fingers over it. Mulder nibbled on the back of her neck and exhaled slowly.

"I guess that's it," he murmured, running a hand down her side. 

The centipede, not happy at this gesture by Mulder, promptly spit Truth juice on Scully's back and Mulder's hand.

"Oh shit," Mulder groaned, removing his hand and wiping it on the sheet. 

"Oh, Mulder," Scully laughed, feeling the sticky hot Truth juice drip down her back. "I know that sometimes it just can't be helped. I kinda like the way it feels."

"Not too much, I hope," he countered, putting his lips back on her neck.

"Nah" 

The centipede, in a jealous rage, shot up to Scully's neck and squirted Truth juice right in Mulder's eye. 

"You little fu—"

The centipede sped away, down in between the sheets and over the bottom of the bed to the floor. Mulder wiped out his eyes. "I hate it when it does that. That stuff tastes so nasty."

"Tell me about it," Scully said, grinning. "But there's something about it that's soerotic," she added, turning around and licking the Truth juice off of his cheek.

"Oh yeah baby," he muttered, putting an arm around her and kissing her hard.

"What about the pede?" Scully whispered between kisses.

"To hell with the pede, I need to have you right now, right here," he murmured against her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, sighing softly.

Little did they know the centipede could hear, and had started to pack his little centipede bags dejectedly

He wrote a little Pede Doe note, spit some Truth juice up on it, and shot under the apartment door, which was a tight squeeze for its mighty length and girth. 

It would find a new owner, one who would play with him more, appreciate him for what he truly was.

The pede was free at last.

**Chapter II: Into the Hands of Evil**

Diana Fowley walked out of the corner convenience store and put her hand in her pocket, feeling the small amount of change she had gotten as tips for the night. It was hard to find a night job in Washington D.C. that involved being a slut, but she had found one; the whore found in the rear of the Kum and Go.

Her clientelle were mostly toothless men on welfare and escaped convicts who hadn't seen a woman in months and wouldn't know the difference between Diana and a real piece. They would come in late at night, come, and leave.

It made her feel full inside, full of...pride in herself for doing this favor for those less fortunate.

However, she didn't make much money; it was hardly enough to pay C.G.B. for the crack that he supplied her. But she would find some way to pay him. She always did.

She walked down the street, staring at the ground and laughing about the great time she just had whoring herself when all of the sudden she saw a sight she hadn't seen for several, several years.

It was a two-foot long centipede.

But not just any centipede.

It was Mulder's Pet 'Pede.

Diana's breath caught in her throat as she felt a chill of arousal go down her body. The centipede stopped dead in its tracks and looked up at her.

"'Pede...where have you been..." she breathed, caressing her own dirty bodily-fluid-smeared face. "It's been so long since I've seen you."

The centipede reared back on its hind legs and hissed.

"Oh, don't you remember me? I'm Diana. I used to play with you all the time," she whispered, bending down over it. "You used to love me like a real woman. Don't you remember?"

It hissed again and spat a copious amount of Truth juice in her face.

She moaned, licking her lips and smearing it down her neck, and all over her skin. "I really missed that, 'pede, that tasty warm Truth juice of yours..."

The centipede, visibly shaken by her reaction to its only defense, backed away.

"Oh no, don't leave," Diana warned. "You won't ever leave me again."

With that, her hands darted down and grabbed the centipede, one hand squeezing tightly around its head and the other at its end, so it could not whip her.

The centipede thrashed and hissed and spat, but nothing worked. It convulsed violently in her hands as she walked away, whispering to it.

"Just you and me, 'pede, that's all we need."

**Chapter III: Realization**

Mulder groaned, rolling off of Scully at last, totally spent. Their sweaty bodies laid atop of his comforter as they listened to their labored breathing.

"Mulder...that was incredible," Scully murmured, putting her hand on his chest and playing with his hair.

"Was it?" he asked, egging her on for some ego attention.

"The complete Truth." She kissed his arm and his side as he pulled her over to him for the post-coital embrace.

"It was good for me too, baby," he answered, looking around. "I wonder where 'pede went."

Scully pressed her lips against his again. "Mmmmm...I don't know."

He rolled away quickly, causing her to fall flat on the bed with in a *foof* of air and sheets. Standing, he looked more frantically around the room.

"Honey," she said as she regained her breath, "I'm sure that he's around here somewhere, moping around all limp because he didn't get any attention."

"I don't think so."

Mulder ran through the apartment naked, frantically searching for his centipede. Scully watched with amusement. However, after he jogged completely around the rooms and came back, the look of horror on his face replaced her pleasure with concern.

"He's gone."

"Not again..."

"Scully, he's gone," Mulder moaned, falling back against the door frame, putting his head in his hands.

"That damned 'pede is always getting out. Why don't you put a leash on that thing!"

"It needs to have freedom. I don't want to restrict it, that's not healthy. Some doctors say that inhibits its Truth juice production."

"Dammit, Mulder," she groaned, rolling off the bed and pulling her panties and pants from the night before over her legs. 

"I don't know what to do, Scully," he whimpered, cowering in the doorway.

"Get your clothes on," she demanded as she picked up her bra, "we're gonna find your wild 'pede and teach him, once and for all, that it's not idea to creep around."

**Chapter IV: Dispicable Intentions**

The centipede was very exhausted by the time he arrived at Diana's apartment. He had twitched until his taut muscles were strained; he now lay limp in the clammy hands of his captor. Diana knocked on the door with her head because she didn't want to let the centipede escaped her hands.

"Who is it?" a harsh, dull voice from inside demanded.

"Diana. Sweetie, open the door."

The door swung open, and there was a man on the other side. A man that the centipede automatically recognized. Fear pulsed through its main vein like a shot of electricity, sending tingles over it.

"Good morning, Cheatin' Bastard," Diana crooned, kissing him hard and sloppily. He kissed back, the drool dripping on top of the centipede, who spit Truth juice on the front of Bastard's pants as a response.

"Ooooops..." Bastard moaned, looking down. "Look what you made me do."

"That wasn't you, silly," Diana laughed, "it couldn't be, you don't have a penis remember?"

He stared at her. "Yeah. I think I remember that." 

He looked down into Diana's hands and backed away, emitting a high pitched shrill scream. "Why the hell do you have that thing!!"

"Oh, honey, it's a 'pede, just like I used to play with, back in the days," Diana explained haughtily. "It's mine again. All mine. ALL MINE."

"I will not have that sonofabitch 'pede in my house."

"It's not your house, dear, it's my low rent government supplied housing facility," Diana retorted.

Bastard snorted, his nose running green and clear. "Do you know what that thing did to me, Diana? It took my manhood. It made me an un-whole person."

"Your manhood would never match up to this," she sighed, stroking the length of the centipede.

Cheatin' Bastard looked around. "Where the hell are you going to keep it?"

Diana smiled. "Oh, It's going to sleep with me tonight."

The 'pede fainted.

**Chapter V: Kum and Go**

"You'd think that with a 'pede of that size, someone would have noticed it coming down the street," Scully sighed, her hands on her hips.

"A lot of people don't want to believe. They don't want to believe that a 'pede could be that big. Men want to be like it, women want to be with it. But they are in a state of denial that something of that caliber could exist," Mulder explained, as Scully rolled her eyes.

"Haven't we seen one this big on Wild Discovery before?"

"Never. Mine is the largest I've ever seen. That's the Truth."

"Yes, it is," Scully murmured, closing her eyes and thinking about the 'pede. How it could make her feel so full inside...an indescribable feeling of completeness. How simply stroking it could calm every single nerve in her body, feeling it throb beneath the pads of her fingers. How it made her wet, with its Truth juice, how it slid over her skin cautiously but with one sacred ultimate destination...

"Oh god..." Scully moaned.

"What??" Mulder asked, looking at her. She blushed and realized that she had been daydreaming. 

"Nothing. Mulder, there's no reason to panic." Scully walked up to him and put her hand on his cheek.

"Well you've never seen me panic. When I panic I make this face." Mulder widened his eyes and dropped his jaw as if he were screaming.

"That was the face."

"You didn't see that face." Mulder began to walk away. 

"I saw that face." Scully followed him, the click clack of her shoes on the cement loud on the silent street.

"When?" He turned to face her, biting his lip.

"Just now."

"That was for demonstration purposes only."

"I still saw it."

Mulder looked into her eyes. "What...what was the point of this again?"

Scully stared at him. "I don't know. Let's just find your damned 'pede."

The wily Special Agents walked down the street, looking over the ground for any single piece of evidence that may lead them to the 'pede. They walked down to the corner gas station, which Mulder always laughed at when he passed it. 

"What?" Scully asked as he giggled softly.

"The...the name of this gas station," Mulder whispered, nudging her with an elbow. Scully looked up sighing, and read the sign outloud.

"Kum and Go."

Mulder burst out into laughter.

Scully raised her eyebrow, half a smile erupting. "Mulder..."

Then she was rolling. Two agents of the FBI cracking up in a juvenile example of slang gone wrong. She had no idea why it was so damn funny but they stood against the gas pumps, laughing so hard that Scully thought she was going to pee her pants.

The manager of the gas station came out and looked at them furiously. "What's going on here?"

Mulder whipped out his badge. "FBI. Have you seen this 'pede?" he asked, stifling his laughter. There was a picture of Scully and his 'pede below his badge. He always kept it there to remind him of what he lived for. Scully and his 'pede together in a heartening embrace...

Mulder snapped his badge shut again when he realized that Scully had been naked in the picture. She didn't notice that the manager was now looking at her very lustfully. She was too busy drying her eyes from laughing so hard.

"Yes, I saw that 'pede not an hour ago. What's it to ya?" The manager scratched his belly.

"It's mine and we have to find it," Mulder explained. 

"Well maybe I didn't see it," the manager answered, yawning. Scully walked over to them, her eyes quizzical.

"I thought you just said you did," she said, looking him in the eyes.

"I may have."

"Well I suggest you tell us where he was, who you saw him with," she replied, her voice taking on a slightly threatening tone.

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't," the manager laughed, eyeing her like a piece of meat. "Depends on how desparate you are to get to it."

"I'm very desparate," Scully said, smiling softly. "So desparate that..."

"That wha-"

Scully twirled around and gave the manager a swift Scully kick to the head. "TRUTH HAI!!!" she screamed, as he fell to the ground. She jumped up and down, backing up to kick him again.

"I give up! Don't hurt me," the manager cried, clutching his head. Mulder, his eyes bewildered, watched her as she grabbed the man by the collar and pushed him against the gas pump.

"Where is it!"

"She took it." The manager cringed.

"Who is *she*?"

"HERRRRRRRR!!!!" he cried, tears streaming down his cheeks. "The whore!!"

Mulder and Scully both looked at each other. The connection had been made. There was only one whore in this city skanky enough to hang around Kum and Go gas stations. Only one whore evil enough to kidnap the 'pede. Only one whore...

"Diana," they both muttered. Scully slapped the manager across the face before they ran off down the block, Mulder in the lead with Scully not far behind.

**Chapter VI: Viagra-iffic**

Diana had taken the 'pede into her bedroom and locked the door so that Cheatin' Bastard couldn't get in. Frankly, she thought he was a sleazeball, only using him for the little income that he could spare while working the swing shift at the dildo factory. She knew he hated that job more than anything in this world; it made him jealous and self-loathing, doing the quality check for replicas of the one thing he had lost so suddenly in the youth of his life. Diana couldn't imagine a worser fate. But it was the only job he could get, being the ugly ass mother that he was.

But now she had 'pede, her long, muscular, fulfilling 'pede. And it was all hers for the taking. She sat down on the bed, humming an old tune from when she was in high school-Feel like makin love...feel like makin love-and held it in her lap, lifting it to her lips to kiss it once.

The 'pede, exhausted slightly from its fight with her, managed to twitch yet again in her hands. It was awfully limp, she thought. How was she supposed to have any fun if it wouldn't cooperate?

Then she got an idea. A very wicked idea. She opened her purse, finding a small vial she only used at the Kum and Go when she got the really old tricks, the ones who wanted sex and couldn't get it up. It was her handy illegally-obtained prescription drug that she got by routinely raiding Father Spender's drawers. The wonder remedy that even she popped when she felt like she needed it.

"Ahhhh, Bob Dole, I'd love to do ya," she sighed, smiling as she popped open the vial. She picked up one tiny pill and held it between two fingers, reading the etched drug name through the white powder covering it.

"Viagra."

**Chapter VII: Seek and Destroy**

"Diana Fowley lives in a low rent government housing authority. She never was one with good financial sense. Always wasting her money on Sno Balls and Twinkies." Mulder and Scully were panting as the stood outside her apartment building, both bent over slightly.

"Sno Balls, Mulder?"

Mulder glanced up into her eyes. "The kind you can BUY."

"I see," she answered with a small smile, turning to the building. "The dark gothic manor, the uh... omnipresent low fog hugging the thicket of overgrowth. Wait... is that a hound I hear baying out on the Moors?"

A beat. "No...that's just Diana moaning."

They both looked at each other in horror and ran through the door of the building.

Mulder and Scully ran up the stairs and found the apartment rather quickly, because it was the one where all the rats were running as well. Mulder ran at the door and smashed it in with his shoulder. "Cheap government plywood," he commented as they pushed inside. 

They heard water running to the right; a shower, perhaps. Besides that, no one seemed to be around. But the bedroom door was closed. 

"You think she's in there?" Scully whispered, nudging Mulder.

They heard another dispicable moan that answered the question for itself.

"I'm going through," Mulder answered, running at the door and hitting it full force. It didn't even hurt him, the wood was so cheap and rotted out, Scully observed with a smile.

They found Diana laying on her bed, the 'pede on her lap, her hand clutching something unidentifiable but small.

"Diana!!!! What have you done with my 'pede?" Mulder shrieked.

Diana smirked, stroking the head of the 'pede. "Oh, it was wonderful. We just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats. Isn't that right, 'Pede?"

"Shut up, shithead," Scully snapped. "Hand over the 'pede and I just may let your bitch ass live."

Mulder was impressed at Scully's take-charge attitude. He decided he would have to see if she would be that way in bed that night as well.

Diana stared at Scully, her fingers opening over her palm to reveal a handful of Viagra, her other hand lifting the 'pede's head up. "Who's the next lucky stiff, Scully?"

Mulder screamed. "Diana!! That'll kill it!! Don't you dare!"

Diana, a smug look on her face, rolled the pills around in her hand. "Something you should have thought of, Fox, with that little...problem of yours."

"I've never had a problem, Diana!" Mulder retorted angrily, glancing over at Scully. Scully raised her eyebrows and refused to comment.

"You certainly did when I was around."

"Because you were so damned ugly that I couldn't get a hard on!"

Diana's smug glare turned into a deathly witch stare. "And your 'pede never will again..."

She yanked open the 'pede's mouth and stuffed a pill inside. It was huge and the 'pede's opening was not very big; the 'pede, exhausted, made a small squealing sound.

Scully's glare darted to Mulder, who looked as if he were going to faint, and then back to Diana. She bit her lip and ran, lunging onto the bed, toppling on Diana and smacking her head against the headboard.

Diana let go of the 'pede as she screamed, and the 'pede slipped off the edge of the bed, stiffening.

"You bitch," Scully growled, grabbing Diana's head and smashing it against the headboard again. Scully slapped her across the face, back and forth, again and again as Diana's head began to lull to the side, while she vacantly stared into space. "Bitch!! Die!!! You stupid slutty whore of a-"

"SCULLY!!!" Mulder yelled, running over and grabbing her hand, which was red from slapping Diana. "Stop, Scully, stop."

She slapped Diana hard with her other hand, and Mulder grabbed that too, dragging Scully off of the bed. She kicked Diana several times as her legs were dragged over her body. "Bitch!! Bitch!!!" Scully shouted. "Let me slap her around just a little more!! Mulder!!"

"She's...she's unconscious, Scully, I mean, damn girl, what else do you want?"

"I want her to DIE!!" She writhed in his arms.

Mulder held Scully as she shook violently. "Take deep breaths...come on now..."

Scully took a deep breath, resting her head on his chest. "Okay...okay."

Mulder put his lips on the top of her head. "Are you okay now?"

"Yea...just...Mulder, promise me you'll never let her touch your 'pede again." Scully looked up into his eyes.

"Scully, you're the only one I want touching my 'pede. Ever," he replied softly, kissing her.

Scully kissed him back with one eye on Diana, who was drooling blood and saliva on the pillow as she watched them hollowly.

"Shit, Mulder..."

"Mmmm?" he murmured, running his hands over her waist.

"The 'pede, dammit! Where did it go??"

Mulder jumped away from Scully and looked around the room. "Ohhhhhhhh fu-"

His inevitable cursing was cut short by a shriek from the next room. They ran in there quickly, finding Cheatin' Bastard on the floor with the 'pede knawing away at his neck. Blood spurted from his jugular.

"Damn it, 'pede," Mulder groaned, walking over and picking the 'pede up. Scully bent down, feeling Cheatin' Bastard's neck, and found he had no pulse.

"He's dead, Mulder." Scully stood up and looked at Mulder. He was cradling the 'pede, kissing the top of its head. The 'pede, still a little stiff from the Viagra, moved slightly and Mulder sighed, running his palm over the 'pede and feeling a tingle of anticipation. Scully smiled, watching him stroke it.

"I don't care. I have my 'pede, and it didn't even get cut or bruised or anything," he said softly, squeezing the middle of the 'pede and moaning softly at the 'pede's arousal, from its state of sleep.

"Mulder, whoever taught you how to squeeze a 'pede?" Scully asked, walking over and running her hand down it. Mulder breathed out softly, letting her put her hands around it and rub slowly up and down.

"I taught myself," he answered, "but you do a much better job."

   [1]: mailto:davephile@yahoo.com
   [2]: http://members.dencity.com/general_store/



End file.
